Monday, 4 September 2017

Email to Professor: Self Introduction

Subject: Self Introduction

Dear Professor Blackstone,

I hope this email finds you well.

I am formally writing to you so that you can familiarise yourself with me in your Effective Communication class. My name is Yeo Jie Ming, and I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in marine engineering in 2015. During my internship stint, I realised that the marine industry was not a career I was interested in as it entailed being away at sea for months on end. I decided that spending time with my loved ones was more important than the monetary benefits. For a brief period of time, I was lost about my career and further education prospects as I did not do well enough to make the cut for the big three universities in Singapore. However, when the government announced the opening of a fifth university catered towards diploma holders, it gave me an opportunity to pursue a degree that I might have an interest in. Today, I am a student of Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) batch AY2017/18 pursuing a bachelor (Hons) in sustainable infrastructure engineering (land).

My close friends describe me as a vibrant and engaging person, never failing to make them laugh. I am not afraid to approach people and start a conversation. Many a time, I have successfully broken the ice with my more introverted classmates. However, despite my outgoing personality, I find myself retreating into my shell whenever I have to present to a crowd, or during a formal interview. Also, I find that compared to my peers in other faculties, my vocabulary does not match theirs. A recent example where my shyness hindered me, was during an interview for a university scholarship. The sight of my interviewers left me in a panicked state, and I found that I could not translate my train of thoughts into words eloquently. This impacted me as I did not get my scholarship and I realised the importance of good communication. Hence, I want to improve my public speaking and interview skills as these are important in the workforce.

To achieve my goals, I believe that I have to make an effort to read more as it will help improve my vocabulary and my general knowledge. Also, to combat my fear of speaking in crowds, or during interviews, I will have to practise more by speaking up during tutorial sessions. This will train me to be more confident.

I feel that to better prepare us in the workforce, it is important to learn how to carry ourselves proper through effective communication. Therefore, I am fortunate to be taking this module in SIT. I hope through this course, I am able to perfect the art of a good presentation, and expand my limited vocabulary through extensive reading and writing.

I look forward to your generous guidance and teaching in class.

Best wishes,
Yeo Jie Ming
SIE Group 5

Edited on 
14 September 2017
18 September 2017
19 September 2017 
20 September 2017
21 September 2017

Blogs read:
1) Hong Yu
2) Cheron
3) Xue Le
4) Jun Peng
5) Jerome Teng
6) Claudia 

Blogs commented:
1) Hong Yu
2) Jerome Teng
3) Xue Le 


  1. Hi Jie Ming! Just some opinions which I feel could be better (:

    "so that you can better familiar yourself" - "so that you can familiarize yourself"
    "loved ones were more" - "loved ones are more"
    "announced that they would be" - "announce that they will be" As it is something they announced in the past that did happened.

    Overall, interesting & nice flow :B

    1. Hi Claudia! Thank you for your feedback! I've taken in your feedback and made some changes. Cheers!

  2. "Many a times, I have successfully" - "times" is plural noun while "a" is singular. I recommend changing it to "Many times" or "Many a time".

    "my vocabulary do not match theirs." - "my vocabulary" is a singular subject while "do not" is a plural verb. I recommend changing it to "my vocabulary does not match theirs.".

    I might be wrong but those are what I think that is incorrect.

    1. Hi Raien! Thank you for taking the time and effort to read my post. I've taken in your feedback and made the necessary changes. Cheers!

  3. Dear Jie Ming,

    Thank you for this highly detailed and well organized letter. We learn a lot in it about your experience in your internship, your dreams and your view of your own communication skills. I'm also glad to see that you have set achievable goals for this module.

    While your language use is fluent and engaging, there are a few issues to take note of:

    1) I decided that spending time with my loved ones were more important than the monetary benefits... >>> (subject-verb disagreement) ?

    2) ... when the government announced that they would be opening a fifth university, the Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT), catered towards diploma holders... >>> (sentence structure)

    3) Which is to build a reliable public transport system for our commuters. >>> (fragment) ?

    None of this criticism should eclipse the fine effort you have made with this assignment.

    I look forward to reading more of your writing.


    1. Hi Brad! Thank you for taking your time and effort to read and improve my post. I've taken in your feedback and made the necessary changes. I'm looking forward to your future classes on my journey to an effective communication with my peers. Thank you in advance. Cheers!